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Why Do I Feel So Empty

 Finally, I thought. I am able to tell him what I truly feel about our relationship. But, why do I feel like something is wrong.  It has been four days. And I feel like everything is projecting in my mind right now. Is it wrong for me to not want to forget all the happy memories? Why does it feel that everything happy that happened was now just a dream that never happened? Why am I feeling the pain right now. 

I am not happy anymore

When I met you in April 2017, I never would have thought that we will be together, because, you were not really my type. We became really good friends though, and I got to know a lot about you. You were really kind, and you still are. We always send messages to each other via messenger.  In Oct 2017, we asked each other out. But it's not all happy,  you have to go to a far away place to work.  At first, it was really easy in a sense that, I still feel intense love for you. I was even nervous when I fetched you at the airport in Jan 2019 for your one month vacation. I missed you so much back then.  After a month of vacation, you went back for work again. At first, everything was emotional, because it is really hard to be so far away from someone you love.  My feelings for you are slowly fading. I am not as excited to talk to you. I was not even excited to see you in the airport. But when we met again in Jan 2020, all the feelings drowned me again. When you held m...